The Podcast that didn’t make it….


Hey guys!  I know you were all expecting a podcast this past weekend and i’m sorry that I just wasn’t able to pull it together to do a show.  I started recording a couple of times, but the emotional weight of the issue I wanted to discuss  just kept my mind in a cloud of haze.  There was a thundering sort of emotional rage and hurt racing through my head every time i tried to speak sensibly about this topic so, i thought it maybe better to just sit down and try to type out some of the feelings i have.

I heard the sad news last week that the California Supreme Court upheld Prop H8 and I feel that it was really just a firm kick in the face to any pursuit of life, liberty or happiness some Americans are entitled too.  My first remark to myself immediately following the news was “we’ll, that’s no suprise!”  However, the heavy sadness that settled into my heart and weakened my spirit really has started to make me loose hope that things will ever get better for us in my lifetime.  I have lived much of my life as the  eternal optimist barreling through the trials I’ve encountered on my road, and my optimistic spirit has always seen me through most everything, every battle, fight, and race.

However, I find nowadays that my hopeful heart is just tired now.  I’ve started to feel a deep sense of emotional fatigue regarding this monumental  issue for myself and millions around the world just like me.  I have seen and heard the “conservative right” throw the most cruel, mean, and hateful insults at us and go out of their way to make us appear less human than they are.  I find myself confused about “why” they work so hard to deny us the right to officially validate the loving bonds we have in our lives.  It is is “OUR” government as well as theirs, so why can’t we have the right to legitimize the bonds of commitment so many of us have forged in love and dedication with our lovers, partners, mates, and best friends.  It is times like this that just really weaken my faith in humanity.  The knowledge that some people can harbor such coldness and hatred directed at something so wonderful and meaningful as a bond of love that two responsible adults can share just really makes me doubt my fellow man.

I really don’t feel like i should have to go down on my knees to beg anyone  for their approval, because I think it demeans us and plays into their ideology that they are in some way better people just because they were born to love a member of the opposite sex.  As I said earlier, we are are citizens of the same country as they are and “all” that have been born under the Stars and Stripes deserve the equal rights guaranteed by our founding fathers when they set pen to paper to establish our great country.  It was said long ago that all men were created equal and thusly should be guaranteed the same basic civil rights!!!  However….to date in so very many states…recently in California….we are most certainly NOT!

So what to do now?  Can we as a community really pull together and push this through?  Is this the beginning of the gay civil rights movement?  I honestly can say that I don’t know.  The GLBT community itself is so very divided and segregated into different interest groups that to date makes for a non-united front to push for our civil rights.  If we as a community cannot get beyond all the attitude,  cattiness and bitchiness for once then how can we ever make a stand.  I still have hope that we can show them what we’re made of and find strength in the huge diversity of our community.

Anyways…sorry if that came off as sort of a whacky rant, huh?  That’s why i didn’t put it on the air cause i got really emotional each time i tried to get through it!  Anyways, Love you guys and will speak to you later in the week for sure!