You Know You’ve Been in Thailand to Long When…

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I know right?  Two times in the same week…Could it really be?  Anyways, I was checking the blog this afternoon when I got home from work and it occurred to me that I should post a counterpart to the “You know your from Alabama when…” as I’ve not had the pleasure of residing there for nearly a decade.  Therefore, I poked around the internet and found MANY such lists related to foreigners living in Thailand.  So, I pieced together a list of those i found funny yet relevant to my life here and most, if not all, of these are also 100% true.  Sooooo, I thought I’d share yet another list with your reading pleasure and I hope you find it as comical as I did and do on a day to day basis here.  Also, if any questions occur to you while you are reading through the list then please feel free to post them.  I will be more than happy to do my best to elaborate!  Much love as always and will podcast over the weekend!

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You Know You’ve Been in Thailand to Long When…

1. You can go for weeks without toilet paper.

2. You don’t flinch when another car or taxi drives you down the wrong side of the street.

3. You decline to wear a motorbike helmet because it’ll mess up your hair.

4. You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a taxi or bus.

5. It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a staff meeting is what the group will be having for lunch immediately following the meeting.

6. Hearing “Mai Mii” (Don’t have) or “Mai Dai” (cannot) for the 500th time in a day doesn’t annoy you anymore.

7. You no longer wonder how a civil servant, who earns 400 USD per month drives a brand new Mercedes.

8. Curry is perfectly acceptable breakfast food as long as it has a fried egg on top.

9. Au Bon Pain or the Sizzler is a chic classy hang out serving good food.

10. A policeman stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet, and not to get your license.

11. You are not surprised when 3-4 men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb or change the filters in the air conditioner.

12. You instinctively know to look both ways twice before crossing a one-way street.

13. You wonder where the salt and chilli mix is for fresh fruit.

14. You’d rather SMS someone than actually meet and talk.

15. You are careful to cover your mouth when picking your teeth, but openly pick your nose at the dinner table.

16. You keep a roll of toilet paper on your dinner table, but not in the bathroom cause it doesn’t go in the toliet.

17. A hot pizza right out of the oven is smothered in ketchup and oregano and it looks just fine for dinner.

18. You know first hand that “Love You Long Time” is not a satirical quote from Full Metal Jacket, but an actual saying.

19. You know when people say they’re “going to bed” that they’ll actually be partying until 2AM and beyond in a cylindrical nightclub resembling a spaceship.

20. “Sexpats,” “Pirates,” “Yellow Fever” and “Rice Queens” are all in your vocabulary.

21. You can shame a group of prostitutes with one contemptuous stare.

22. You understand why drivers flash their 4 indicator lights when driving straight on at intersections.

23.  You just smile, shake your head and sigh when the waiter correctly repeats your order and yet the cook makes something completely different.

24. When shopping at a supermarket, you peak into another farang’s (Caucasian foreigner) cart and wonder to yourself what other farang’s eat.

25. You quietly mutter “farang” (Caucasian foreigner) to your Thai friend/partner when you see other foreigners in public.

26. You regularly fumble for five minutes to find a 10 baht coin despite 10 people waiting in line behind you to use the machine.

26. You know that dogs are animals best given a wide berth or avoided rather than attempt to pet.

27. Touts and Indian tailors ignore you when you walk past their shops.

28. Not only does it not bother you that a lady is cleaning the stall next to the one you are using, but you are not even startled when she begins to sweep/mop under the door of your stall.

29. You are adept at examining knock-off sunglasses and watches with a discriminating eye.

30. You can tell the difference between the “I-have-no-idea-what-you’re-talking-about” smile and one of genuine amusement.

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