The Podcast that didn’t make it….


Hey guys!  I know you were all expecting a podcast this past weekend and i’m sorry that I just wasn’t able to pull it together to do a show.  I started recording a couple of times, but the emotional weight of the issue I wanted to discuss  just kept my mind in a cloud of haze.  There was a thundering sort of emotional rage and hurt racing through my head every time i tried to speak sensibly about this topic so, i thought it maybe better to just sit down and try to type out some of the feelings i have.

I heard the sad news last week that the California Supreme Court upheld Prop H8 and I feel that it was really just a firm kick in the face to any pursuit of life, liberty or happiness some Americans are entitled too.  My first remark to myself immediately following the news was “we’ll, that’s no suprise!”  However, the heavy sadness that settled into my heart and weakened my spirit really has started to make me loose hope that things will ever get better for us in my lifetime.  I have lived much of my life as the  eternal optimist barreling through the trials I’ve encountered on my road, and my optimistic spirit has always seen me through most everything, every battle, fight, and race.

However, I find nowadays that my hopeful heart is just tired now.  I’ve started to feel a deep sense of emotional fatigue regarding this monumental  issue for myself and millions around the world just like me.  I have seen and heard the “conservative right” throw the most cruel, mean, and hateful insults at us and go out of their way to make us appear less human than they are.  I find myself confused about “why” they work so hard to deny us the right to officially validate the loving bonds we have in our lives.  It is is “OUR” government as well as theirs, so why can’t we have the right to legitimize the bonds of commitment so many of us have forged in love and dedication with our lovers, partners, mates, and best friends.  It is times like this that just really weaken my faith in humanity.  The knowledge that some people can harbor such coldness and hatred directed at something so wonderful and meaningful as a bond of love that two responsible adults can share just really makes me doubt my fellow man.

I really don’t feel like i should have to go down on my knees to beg anyone  for their approval, because I think it demeans us and plays into their ideology that they are in some way better people just because they were born to love a member of the opposite sex.  As I said earlier, we are are citizens of the same country as they are and “all” that have been born under the Stars and Stripes deserve the equal rights guaranteed by our founding fathers when they set pen to paper to establish our great country.  It was said long ago that all men were created equal and thusly should be guaranteed the same basic civil rights!!!  However….to date in so very many states…recently in California….we are most certainly NOT!

So what to do now?  Can we as a community really pull together and push this through?  Is this the beginning of the gay civil rights movement?  I honestly can say that I don’t know.  The GLBT community itself is so very divided and segregated into different interest groups that to date makes for a non-united front to push for our civil rights.  If we as a community cannot get beyond all the attitude,  cattiness and bitchiness for once then how can we ever make a stand.  I still have hope that we can show them what we’re made of and find strength in the huge diversity of our community.

Anyways…sorry if that came off as sort of a whacky rant, huh?  That’s why i didn’t put it on the air cause i got really emotional each time i tried to get through it!  Anyways, Love you guys and will speak to you later in the week for sure!

Finally someone Said It….

Hey guys!  So, I was listening to Auntie Vera’s Podcast yesterday at the gym and one of the eloquently covered topics was the new public service announcement airing at home in the U.S. with Wanda Sykes.  Naturally, I looked the commercial up on Youtube when I got back home and I was so impressed that I thought I’d post it here to share with you.

The last time I visited home was my first real exposure to the commonly used catch phrase, “That’s so gay!”  It was sort of thoughtlessly used out of frustration by a person close to me, and then immediately followed by a “No offense, Tom!”  I remember thinking nothing of it at the time, mainly because I didn’t really understand how the context of something being bad or stupid equaled being gay.  The statement didn’t really make sense to me at the time, but in the time that followed till now I’ve come to resent the use of this phrase.  It does bother me when people say it, and I’d like to send up a little public praise to Wanda Sykes and Hillary Duff for having the courage to speak out for us.  It is bad enough that we are denied our fair share of civil rights by our own country in regards to marriage and equality.  However, I still believe that the following quote from the Declaration of Independence does and still hold true for ALL American citizens.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.”

Sooo….having said that, please watch the video and to all my straight and/or conservative listeners please think next time before you speak.  “That’s so gay!” is in fact very offensive and hurts especially when it comes from one you love.  Take care and talk to you guys again very very soon!

T.I.T Episode 16: Go “Loy” Your “Krathong”


•    Welcome to episode 16
•    November begins the cool season!
•    The crazy folks on my street
•    I finally got cable TV last week
•    The new James Bond just isn’t the same
•    Loy Kratong festival was last week
•    Tom finds the festival a bit hypocritical
•    Comments and emails
•    Voicemail from Craig at the Royal Pains
•    Aj and Forrest are back….hooray!
•    Sweet & Sour victory for us
•    Tom gets a bit emotional and swears
•    tired of being marginalized
•    My “exile” by choice seems indefinite
•    I’ve considered Australia or Canada
•    What makes our love any different?
•    The holiday season and depression
•    Job hunting window is next month
•    Closing remarks and love
•    Email or Comment!
•    Please call and leave me a message on the listener line

Email me at, comment or call my voice line and leave me a message!

Also, you need to go check out my fellow podcasters at the Rainbowpodsquad and the Freak Network cause there is some quality entertainment on our shows over there to suit every taste.

Download Tom in Thailand: Right Click Here | The Freak Network | The RainbowPodSquad

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I like the comparison…

Good morning, afternoon, evening or night depending on where and when in the world this may find you. A very very Happy Thursday to you one and all and thanks so much for stopping by to have a visit. I stumbled into the office this morning before 8AM to catch up on some editorial corrections for a friend over the necessity of my coffee, and one of my co-workers came walking in to give me a bright “good morning.” Then purely out of the blue she tells me she’d been watching Ellen and started telling me about this interview with John McCain. So, naturally I came home from work to have a watch. I really liked the comparison she makes at the end of the clip and agree with her. The quite disagreement still feels like being shown to the back of the bus. Anyways, have a quick watch if you haven’t already seen it, and I’ll try to be better at posting over the weekend.

Songkran Exiles…

Hey folks!  Well, i’ve been sitting here and have tried for the better part of the afternoon again and again to get onto the youtube website without any success at all.  I know I had promised you guys a video clip of the insane holiday madness that is called ‘Songkran’ here in Thailand, and I’ll just have to try again later.   As you are already aware, I’ve no wish to participate in the 3 or 4 day holiday event going on right now when the whole country descends into an anarchy of drunkenness and  water gun fights filled with stagnant klong water.  However, I cannot simply chose to abstain from the festivities going on around me if i venture out in public.  Those of us wishing not to partake in water fights must bunker up in our homes till Sundown when the water fights and festivities end each day.  After that most revelers are to drunk to accost anything but a porcelain throne, but not that I’m bitter old queen or anything.  Do i sound bitter?  🙂

No, I actually don’t mind staying in as I can quite happily keep myself occupied inside all day with writing blogs for you wonderful people, watching movies, or playing WOW.  It is EXTREMELY hot here since April is the height of summer, so you are sweating within seconds of merely walking out the door.  Speaking of movies…I’m sitting here writing and passively watching the movie “Castaway,” with Tom Hanks simultaneously.   I actually watched the tail end of the movie last night  and thanks to the repetitive  nature of movie channels it is on again.  It is ok though, as I really enjoy this film.  I relate to the main character in a way much the same as i relate to Bill Murray’s character in “Lost in Translation.”  I live out my life here in Thailand isolated from the world around me and thousands of miles from my loved ones at home.  Now i know what some of my readers are thinking, and especially one reader in particular.  You would say, “but Tom! remember you choose your life” and “you choose to live in Thailand” and that’s true to some extent.  However, life isn’t that cut and dried.  Do you really think we choose all the important things in our lives such as who we love?  Do you make the conscious decision at some point in time to say to yourself…”Hey, I think I will love this person starting now, at this point in time.”  No of course not.  What would you do if i shrugged my shoulders and said you had to between love and geography?  You should ask yourself how good are your empathy skills?  🙂

So…I sit here in my semi-self imposed exile somewhat by choice and somewhat by fate.  I do miss my home with all my heart, but I also love my partner very very much.  So what choices do I have then?  The U.S. isn’t going to welcome me home with partner in hand anytime soon, despite the progressive nature of laws in other western countries like Australia, Holland, or the U.K. that do treat ‘all’ their citizens equally.  So, until my country reaches a place that grants me equal rights like heterosexual citizens, I will do my best to live positively in the country here that I’ve adopted as a second home.  There will always be things about Thailand that i don’t like or find annoying but who’s to say it wouldn’t be the same anywhere.  Gosh, where did all that come from, huh?  Anyways, much much love to you and thank you so much for stopping through to have a read.  I appreciate the little bit of time you’ve spared and please please don’t be afraid to comment.  Till next time I hope this finds you well, wherever this finds you!