T.I.T. Podcast Episode 29: Yah but No, but Yah, but No!

Was that Vicky?

•    Welcome to episode 29
•    Mid-term break fitness
•    Tom saw Revolution Road
•    Kate Winslet has that old movie star quality
•    Change of heart about Leonardo DiCaprio
•    When did you wake up and realize you were an adult?
•    My favorite poem
•    Comments and Emails
•    Big Hello to AndrooO over at the Myspace
•    Voicemail from Craig of the Royal Pains and the Freakgeek
•    Kids having babies in the UK
•    Was that Vicky Pollock?
•    Thai teacher’s “special” after school classes
•    Sometimes wrong is wrong
•    Educators MUST follow certain ethical codes
•    Guard yourself against compromising situations
•    Mixed emotions from the peanut gallery
•    Contradictory creatures with double standards
•    Closing remarks and love to my listeners!

Email me at tomnthai@gmail.com, please go Comment on my page or call my voice line and leave me a voice comment for the show!

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T.I.T Episode 6: The Chapters of a Life

•    Welcome to episode 6
•    Comments, emails, messages…
•    Guns in your Dolce?
•    Do I lack flow?
•    Tom doesn’t take criticism well
•    When was the last time you complimented someone?
•    I’ve started running
•    Getting used to metric mess
•    My trip to the doctor and fear of needles
•    My bosses x-rated killer rabbit story
•    AJ is back…hooray!
•    I miss Tigger
•    Why I resisted podcasting at first
•    A chapter of my life is almost closed
•    Jimmy Kimmel and Richard Simmons….Again!
•    Why are we fascinated with crazy?
•    My 3 years without television,
•    I don’t like reality shows
•    Why so many crime shows?
•    The Mummy:  Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
•    Encino Man is starting to age….
•    Tom’s fascination with Asia goes back to childhood
•    Another week of next week off
•    Closing remarks and love
•    Email me at tomnthai@gmail.com or comment on my blog please!

Please let me know you guys are out there.  Please email and/or comment….still waiting for you guys to let me know how i’m doing.

For Direct Download: Right Click Here | The Freak Network

Subscribe to Tom in Thailand in Itunes: Click here

The Stereotype of the Sexpat…

Good morning, afternoon, evening or night where or when ever this finds you in the world. It is just before 10 AM on a lazy overcast Sunday morning here in the Big Mango, and I thought I’d sit down and bang out another entry for your reading pleasure…or not as your tastes may be. Last night my partner and I departed from our usual routine and went out for a nice Saturday evening dinner. We visited a nice Thai restaurant called the River Bar for a nice meal. We drove across the impressive Rama 8 bridge/monument and had dinner on the Thonburi side of river. It was a very nice romantic dinner of baked fish, spring rolls, and sweet&sour pork. We don’t get to do those very often, unfortunately, due to my partner’s work schedule so it was a really nice thing for us to do together.

Anyways, I want to get to the topic in my head before it floats away into nothingness as things often do when they cross my mind. There is a ugly brush that is used to paint most foreigners living in Thailand that I’d like to address today with you. You see, there are a few assumptions or myths perpetuated by many if not most people ,both Thai and foreign, about us western men living here in Thailand:
1. The main motivation or factor for Western guys to move here to Thailand is sex and we only come here for the easy access to sex.
2. Western gay men are unable to be faithful and commit to monogamous caring relationships with only 1 partner.
3. Western gay men over certain age are only attracted to young dark skinned guys or girls.
4. Single western men have sex many times a week with random different partners for the purpose of one-night stands.
5. The sex industry in Thailand is caused by and used exclusively men from western countries.

So, firstly I for one did not move to Thailand for sexual reasons. I met my former Thai partner in the US while we were in school. We were together in the US for 7 years and I decided to give moving here a chance when the time came for him to move home. Also, I have another very close friend that moved here for a previously established relationship as well, and we have both agreed many times how these sort of racial stereotyping annoys us. To be perfectly honest, I really couldn’t even find Thailand on a map when i first met my partner, much less know about the sordid international reputation. Secondly, I know gay couples that have been together for decades and are just as happy being monogamous as some heterosexuals. The desire to step outside a relationship for sexual fulfillment is not limited to sexual orientation or race.

Thirdly, this idea in Thailand that all western men are attracted to very young dark skinned boys and girls is the biggest bunch of krap I think I’ve heard here. Everyone has different tastes in the world or else Baskin Robbins wouldn’t bother with 31 flavors. You don’t get to decide what your eyes find appealing so it is not fair to assume everyone of a certain age and race has the same tastes. Fourthly, I did not and have not ever engaged in a constant stream of one night stands on a weekly basis. This would apply here, home, or anywhere else in the world as my sex drive just isn’t high enough and perhaps I’m to picky. The randomness of meaningless one night stands has never appealed to me but I certainly wouldn’t throw stones when it comes to this point. To each his own, but my point is that it is just not me or my western friends.

Finally, I have heard many times over the years that the sex industry here in Thailand is perpetuated by the western male. This silly myth is easily dismissed by the presence of the massive structures used as “massage” parlors here in Bangkok around the ratchada area that cater almost exclusively to Thai clients. There is also a street called soi Thanaya here in Bangkok filled with “karaoke” bars that cater exclusively to Japanese clients seeking female short term companionship. However, I think westerners are more open when the frequent these type of establishments as it is not uncommon to see a westerner sitting in an open air bar with a “friend” on their arm for the evening. I think many Asian cultures are more private about such things, and thus the myth has been perpetuated that only westerners partake in such carnal activities.

I don’t know why I felt I needed to get that off my chest, but it is a conversation I’ve had with close friends very often. I wonder why it seems to be human nature to stereotype our fellow man? We are so quick to label one another as we pass in this world, but the world is a much more colorful place than we give it credit. There is a lot more depth of character out there passing you by, so next time you make an immediate assumption about someone I hope you pause to consider your thoughts again. Obviously, there are going to be those that fit your stereotype but not everyone wears the same size clothes, right? Anyways, I hope you enjoy your Sunday and will speak to you again very very soon. I’m thinking the next entry will be a video blog so make sure you stop by again soon!